


Lines Crossed

by mmadison



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV), Thirteen Reasons Why
Genre: Emotional Hurt, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-13
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24690634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mmadison/pseuds/mmadison
Summary: While everyone is trying to figure out who killed Bryce, Alex has been harbouring a secret that was tearing him apart. The thing was, almost no one noticed... but then, somehow, Justin Foley did.Justin and Alex are brought closer by their secrets, lies and the murder of Bryce Walker. The pair find comfort in the knowledge that they can’t judge each other because they’re both just as guilty. This solace only leads to the pair sharing every single part of each other… perhaps more than they’ve ever shared before.
Relationships: Justin Foley & Alex Standall, Justin Foley/Alex Standall
Comments: 22
Kudos: 69





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a warning, this will include themes from the show that are quite hard hitting, so please be wary of that!  
> I absolutely adore Justin and Alex, so after finishing the series I wanted to write an AU where they're a lot closer throughout Bryce's murder investigation. I hope you enjoy!

They had a complicated history. Justin knew that he’d fought with Alex more times than he could count but the pair were good once, weren’t they? Once upon a time, Alex was genuinely the only person that cared for him when he had nowhere else to go. He saved him from being forced into Bryce’s manipulative hands all over again and gave him a roof over his head. Justin hadn’t forgotten that, even if he’d been living with Clay for a while now. Acts of kindness like that meant more to Justin after how much hardship he’d faced. He remembered it. It stuck with him.

Recently their contact had been minimal. They gave each other stares in the halls of Liberty and might have uttered a word or two when they transferred Tyler from one of them to the other but it was never much and hardly friendly. Civil, if it could even be called that. Alex was still angry at Justin for taking Jessica from him and, in part, Justin understood. He’d felt the same when he had to think about the bleach-blonde boy with his ex-girlfriend. Neither boy had ever been loyal to the other in the pursuit of Jessica but in Justin’s eyes he’d already won. There was no point in dwelling on it now. It wouldn’t change how Jess felt. Justin also thought the way Alex was acting might stop them from even being friends. But Alex had been struggling with more than just losing his girlfriend.   
Way more.

At first, Justin didn’t notice that. Alex was nothing if not skilled at hiding his emotions. The troubled jock was almost positive that he held the most secrets out of anyone in Crestmont, though he had a few demons of his own that he kept close to his chest these days. Justin knew he wasn’t one to judge but he knew the tricks of hiding something dangerous and he thought he could spot the signs in someone else when he paid enough attention. Alex led them all to believe he was fine and coping until he took a bullet to the head, so this time Justin was actively looking for the signs and it made it a lot clearer. The guilt he’d felt over Alex’s accident was still there, especially now they weren’t even on speaking terms unless they were yelling at each other. He’d noticed how Alex’s face would remain blank in group settings when he was more at risk of being noticed. He was coming up with excuses to spend as little time with them all as possible. He was angry, aggressive, and volatile. He was acting suspicious... like he had something going on that stretched further than their Spring Fling mishap. Justin wanted to know what it was. 

Justin was just trying to keep himself calm in the midst of all of the Bryce drama. He knew it wasn’t him that killed the guy. As difficult as it was for everyone to understand, he actually considered Bryce as a brother. Brotherly bonds didn’t just disappear, which meant he couldn’t stop himself from mourning Bryce no matter how much he wanted to. Bryce did horrible things to everyone he cared about, himself included, but he did some pretty great things too. He was… a saviour. For Justin, at least. That’s what he’d always believed. That’s why he stayed by Bryce’s side for so long. Some people thought he was brainwashed or being controlled but there was too much history there for anyone to ever understand. Now, Justin had other people looking out for him and he was grateful for that. It still didn’t change the past and he had to wonder. Who was looking out for Alex?

Seeing the signs and ignoring them wasn’t enough for Justin anymore, so he thought he owed it to himself and everyone else to at least attempt a conversation. He was probably the last person that Alex wanted to talk to but that wasn’t a good enough excuse. Even if they weren’t friends, they had a bond just like everyone who was brought together by Bryce’s trial. Clay was normally the first to jump at the chance to help a friend but he was busy with Ani. Justin did try to reach out to Clay and ask him about Alex but to no avail. Like he thought, Clay was too busy to be the hero this time. It seemed to fall to him.

Alex was always around when Justin didn’t want him to be but the one time he was actually looking for him, he was nowhere to be found. The closest he’d gotten to the lad was the tall, nervous boy standing in front of him in the darkroom. “Have you seen Alex?” He asked. “I mean… I know you’re close or whatever. Did he say anything to you? Like, where he is?”   
  
Tyler placed the paper in his hands down into the tray of developer in front of him, his eyes mostly staring down at the photograph as it started to come to life in the solution. “I-I don’t know, Justin.” He admitted, taking a short glance upwards in the jock’s direction. Tyler didn’t feel completely safe being around the jocks after what happened but Justin had always been the least threatening. He was kind and he was helping him just like everyone else. He gently rocked the tray back and forth to fully submerge the paper in the developer. He had a deadline to reach and he didn’t plan on stopping his work just to answer a string of questions from Justin Foley, though if he could help then he would. “He’s, uh… he’s giving me a ride home later. His mom is letting him use the car.” Tyler explained timidly, his eyes focused on the task in front of him. 

“Right.” Justin inhaled sharply. “Thanks. I’ll see you later then.”    
  
There wasn’t much more he could gain from showing up unannounced in the darkroom to find Tyler. He just had to wait until the end of the day, which was what he did. Justin felt the clock ticking by slowly. Classes were boring on the best of days but when Justin felt he had somewhere better to be, they were even more insufferable. He kept his eyes peeled for Alex while he wandered throughout the halls from one classroom to another but he wasn’t sure what he’d say or what he’d ask if he did end up tracking him down. Truth be told, Justin wasn’t prepared in the slightest. After a night of fretting over Alex’s state of mind the previous night, Justin had decided he needed to say something… but what that  _ something _ was still remained a mystery. Alex just freaked him out yesterday and he couldn’t ignore it anymore. 

...

The previous day, the cafeteria was loud with the usual bustle of lunch. Justin was sitting with Jessica and Clay at a table opposite the jocks. The three of them all had their separate secrets that they were keeping from one another but no one was even close to spilling them yet. They kept the conversation light. It was easy. Talking about the pending adoption was something positive to reach for and look forward to. Justin felt like he belonged somewhere for the first time in a long time and he had a certain glint in his eyes when he talked about it. “Uh- yeah, this woman comes. She does an interview-type thing.” Justin explained to Jess, taking a gulp from his bottle of water.    


_ “Don’t fucking touch me.”  _

All eyes in the surrounding area turned towards the yelling. The continuous murmur of restless students subsided and became replaced with a deafening silence. Well, silence until the yelling continued. 

A very angry looking brunette was standing, hands clenched into fists and shoulders squaring up to Montgomery de la Cruz. Despite the lack of his standout bleach-blonde hair, the student was clearly Alex Standall. 

Alex’s brow was furrowed and his nails were digging into his palms. He just wanted to fucking  _ snap _ and all it took was a hand placement on his shoulder and a slur whispered in his ear for him to get halfway there. “Fuck you! Don’t you fucking come near me, okay?” Alex screamed in Monty’s direction, taking a step closer to give him another shove to the chest. Two highly hormonal and aggressive teens weren’t going to talk for long. No, the one language these teens knew how to speak was physical and Monty wasn’t afraid to throw the first punch. 

One swing and it caught Alex’s chin almost immediately, landing a harsh thud on the side of his face. Alex was quick to respond. His fists were already clenched and it was only a natural move for it to take a swing in Monty’s direction. He got a punch in of his own, though the fight was cut short by the reactions of their surrounding peers. A few football players grabbed a hold of Monty. Another strike and he was suspended, which the football team didn’t need, and before Alex could even guess who was holding him back he could feel the large arms of Zach Dempsey gripping around him. Students at Liberty were getting awfully good at breaking up fights in the cafeteria.    
  
“Alex, come on.” Zach sighed, holding Alex for as long as he struggled before finally letting him go. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” 

Justin wasn’t far behind, placing himself between Alex and Monty. He wasn’t sure if either of them were going to go for round two but he wouldn’t put it past them. They both looked ready for a fight most of the time and in this instance Alex looked like he was eager to start one. Justin wanted to know why but he doubted he’d get the chance to ask. “Alex, what’s going on?” Justin asked, turning his back to Monty in what might be a dangerous move.

“Fuck off.” Alex shoved Zach away from him one last time before he slipped out of the cafeteria, hitting his fist against a locker as he did so. He didn’t come back to school for the rest of the day but Justin didn’t forget about him. Why was Alex Standall actively picking fights with the jocks? Emotions were high surrounding Bryce’s death but Alex was the least likely to be upset about it. Justin didn’t understand but he wanted to.

...

With his concerns about Alex still fresh from the Monty incident the previous day, Justin waited outside of the boy’s mom’s car for him to come from his last class. Hopefully it wouldn’t take too long. Justin was craving something illegal to take the edge off. He’d have to pay a visit to the docks. After seeing a sea of students pass him by, finally he saw Alex on his way over. The brunette didn’t seem overly pleased to see him but that wasn’t anything new. 

“What are you doing here?” Alex asked, clicking his keys to see the flash of the headlights and hear the unlocking of the doors. He reached the driver’s side and opened it up. “I’m giving Tyler a ride, I don’t have time to talk.” 

Now that Justin was faced with Alex, he was at a loss of what to say. Seeing into that enigmatic brain of his was something Justin couldn’t do. He’d tried time and time again to understand the boy but he couldn’t. He was just guessing. Always. Only this time, Justin thought he was making a pretty good guess that the guy wasn’t okay. Justin just didn’t know why and if he was going to help him then he needed to know. He wasn’t entirely sure where this saviour complex had come from, maybe Clay was rubbing off on him, but he could see Alex suffering and he could see no one reaching out to help. It reminded him of himself and it reminded him of that horrible, lonely feeling he felt almost everyday no matter how much Jensens were trying to help. “He’s not even here yet. I just… I just wanted to know if you were okay, that’s all. Yesterday you were… I mean, you were-” Justin shook his head, diverting his gaze. “I know Tyler’s your friend but all his shit isn’t easy. You can talk to someone.” 

Alex frowned deeply. “Talk?” He scoffed. “Talking doesn’t help.” 

“It can.” Justin was quick to respond. “Look, you know I’m working at Monet’s. I have my breaks at eleven on weekends. So, if you want, you can meet me there.” He offered. It was a peace offering, an olive branch, but he didn’t expect Alex to take him up on it. He just thought he was doing something by being there. By noticing. 

Justin wasn’t wrong. Alex didn’t think anyone noticed the internal struggles he was having right now. The whole point of him hiding them was for his secrets to stay hidden. The only person who knew his secret wasn’t talking to him, so he was completely alone in this. Just him and his dark thoughts… his nightmares. Justin was the last person he thought would see through his facade or notice that he was hiding something. Alex found the mention of Tyler’s secrets comforting. Perhaps Justin didn’t actually know anything at all. He was just concerned. It seemed out of character but Foley could always be surprising. That didn’t mean Alex was going to surprise Justin by being nice back. He’d had enough of everyone trying to play hero around him. They couldn’t know what he did. If they did, they’d all hate him and they’d turn him in. Justin more than anyone. Alex looked past Justin and saw Tyler approaching. The curly haired boy hurried along and his face was a picture of apologies, like he was sorry for making Alex wait for so long. Quite frankly, Alex was just glad he came when he did. One more second with Justin and he’d probably say or do something he regretted. “Just go the fuck home, alright? Come on, Tyler.”

Nodding slowly, Justin took a few steps back away from the car to give enough room for Alex to pull away. Maybe being  _ good _ wasn’t as easy as Clay made it seem. Justin watched the car speed off into the distance, like Alex couldn’t be more pleased to get away from him like that. After that, he didn’t think he should expect a visit at Monet’s anytime soon unless Alex was getting a takeaway cup.

><

Monet’s wasn’t very busy. The rush of the Saturday morning trade was long over and Justin was just picking up the odd order here and there. Working a legal job was an interesting concept to him but he was actually trying to hold it down this time. He wanted to be better for the Jensens because they were giving him the opportunity to be. That didn’t mean he was completely sober… but hey, one step at a time. Right? 

The decision to go to Monet’s didn’t come easy to Alex. He figured he could say he just wanted a drink, even if his quest to finish the menu had ended a few weeks ago. Every single drink on the menu, seasonal specials included, had been tried and tasted by Alex Standall. It was something he decided to do way back when Hannah was still his friend. When she was still alive and Bryce was still alive and Alex wasn’t a…    
Well, it was a long time ago. 

Not even one small thought could be had without leading him directly back to Bryce and maybe it was that hint of insanity that made Alex arrive outside of Monet’s. He knew it was closer to eleven o’clock and Justin’s break than he’d like to admit it was. He could always say he hadn’t checked the time, even if it was incredibly convenient that he was here at the exact time he was invited to be. He almost didn’t walk through the door. If he saw anyone he knew through the window then he definitely wouldn’t have. Taking another step inside seemed like a death wish but he was already a dead man walking. It was only a matter of time, wasn’t it? So, Alex pushed through the door of Monet’s while the bell announced his arrival. There was no queue, so he walked right up to his classmate.   


“I’ll have a Chai Latte.” 

Justin raised his eyebrows when he saw the boy arrive. He was definitely the last person he thought he’d see today, especially ten minutes before he was due on break. Did Alex remember the offer he made earlier in the week? Or was he just here by chance?    
Maybe this was the cry for help that Justin had been waiting for. The only problem was, he had no idea how to deal with it. He had no idea what to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, I love writing these characters so let me know any suggestions or if you want me to write more - also open to one shot ideas too (and other ships).


	2. Chapter 2

“So.” Justin said, clicking his tongue against the side of his cheek. The jock was slumped down in his chair, his knee bouncing nervously beneath the table. His body was tense and his eyebrows were furrowed. Alex hadn’t said a word since Justin joined him at his table. They were sitting by the window but both boys were looking down at their hands or at the fresh coffees that Justin made before going on break and joining him. He brought over a muffin each too. Both were untouched on the wooden surface, showing their appetites were non-existent in anticipation of this conversation. Things were getting difficult with the Spring Fling secrets hanging over their head but Justin had darker secrets, as did Alex. He didn’t think either of them were going to share them right now but he thought they could just… be. They could talk about something, even if it wasn’t what was getting them both in this state. He just wanted to show Alex that he had the option to tell him things if he wanted to. 

“What was that fight about at school?” Justin asked, picking at the side of his takeaway cup lid. 

Alex felt a flare of anger bubble up inside him. The anger was second nature to him now. After his TBI, he had flares of anger. The steroids made it worse, so he knew if he wanted to stop being so irritable and aggressive then he should stop taking them. He just didn’t care. He didn’t have much more he could lose. He’d already lost almost everything else. He was looking at Justin sitting across from him and he was seeing all of the things that he’d never have. The ‘footballer’ body, the muscles, the attractiveness. Alex was slim. Too slim for Jess, too ugly for Jess… not a  _ footballer _ like Justin. His nostrils flared in anger before he brought his coffee to his lips, using it as a distraction of sorts and a way to keep his mouth shut. No matter what he thought about Justin, he was the first person to ask how he was doing. He was the only one that noticed he wasn’t okay… or the only one that cared enough to say something, though it wasn’t really like Justin Foley to care about Alex Standall. They weren’t friends. They didn’t even like each other. “Monty’s a dick, since when do I need a reason?” Alex deadpanned. He reached forwards for his blueberry muffin, pulling it closer and starting to peel the casing from around the base. 

Justin couldn’t really disagree with what Alex said but he still shrugged. “Yeah but it’s not like you.” He elaborated. It wasn’t that Monty didn’t deserve it, it was that Alex wasn’t usually the fighter in the group unless he was going through something. Justin had seen that when he got himself beaten up by Monty following Hannah’s tapes. It seemed like a way to punish himself but Justin didn’t know what he would be punishing himself for this time when what happened with Tyler wasn’t his fault. “Is it Tyler?” He asked. “I thought he was doing okay.” 

“It isn’t Tyler.” Alex sighed and sipped his coffee again. “Tyler  _ is _ doing okay. He’s getting better.” He confirmed because he didn’t want Justin to start worrying about that. 

There was another stretch of silence between them because Alex wasn’t willing to say what was wrong and Justin was afraid to ask again. Things had never been easy between them because of what was happening with Jessica but Justin was tired of fighting with people, especially with people that weren’t the enemy. “Crazy what happened to Bryce, isn’t it?” He asked. If it wasn’t Tyler then they might as well talk about something, or someone, else. 

Fuck.    
Did Justin suspect something? Did Justin  _ know _ ? 

No, Justin couldn’t know what happened. There was no way he knew… unless Jessica told him. “Yeah.” Alex answered carefully, his heart almost beating out of his chest. If Jessica told Justin then it was only a matter of time before the whole thing came out. In fear that he was going to sound suspicious, Alex decided he might be able to figure out if Justin knew anything. “Who do you think did it?” He asked. 

“Clay and Ani have been trying to figure it out.” Justin admitted. “But I don’t know… they’re looking at everyone. Doesn’t your dad have an idea? He’s on the case, right? Deputy and all that.” He offered a smile to try and put Alex at ease. The point of this was to help Alex but it looked like he was making him even more tense. 

“He can’t discuss ongoing investigations.” Alex admitted and rolled his eyes. He tried to get as much information as he could but his dad liked to play by the rules. “I’ll see if I can listen in.” He offered, although he wouldn’t be listening in because he wanted his dad to find the killer. He’d much rather the case go cold. 

Honestly, all of this was killing him. Alex didn’t know how long he could keep all of this to himself. He tried not to think about it but everytime he closed his eyes, he could see Bryce’s face staring up at him from the water. Everytime he was stuck in a minute of silence, he could hear him screaming for help while the water dragged him beneath it and he drowned. Alex was responsible for ending the life of his ex classmate and, dare he admit it, someone he actually hung around with for a bit of time before he died. Before he was  _ murdered _ . Alex wouldn’t call Bryce his friend but what else did you call someone you spent time with willingly? 

Alex killed someone. A real, human, living person. He killed someone and he was never going to forgive himself for that. 

“Justin! I need help with the lunch rush, alright? Wrap it up.” The man behind the counter called over to his employee, who was already overshooting his break by five minutes. He wouldn’t care if it wasn’t getting a little busier around here and people weren’t coming in for their midday coffee. Justin understood he was needed to help at work but he thought the look on Alex’s face meant he was needed here a lot more than he was needed making lattes. Monet’s wasn’t a chance of life and death but with Alex he wasn’t so sure. Not after what happened. 

“Look, I’ve gotta go but can we talk at some point?” Justin asked hopefully. He didn’t know why he was pushing himself into Alex’s life like this but he felt responsible. He felt like he had to.

Deciding there wasn’t much point in saying no to the jock, who probably wouldn’t take no for an answer, Alex nodded. Justin wasn’t his favourite person in his life right now but then again, Alex didn’t have many people. Beggars couldn’t be choosers. Well, murderers couldn’t be choosers. He thought getting closer to Justin might keep him more in the loop with what Clay and Ani knew too. If they were looking into the murder of Bryce for themselves then they might actually get somewhere. Alex could keep an eye on both sides - the police and the vigilantes that he went to school with. “Whatever.” He stood up, leaving his untouched muffin on the table and only picking up his coffee to take with him. 

Justin stayed seated while he watched Alex turn his back to him a walk out the door. He watched him on his way past the window for long enough to see him shove some earphones in and pull his phone out of his pocket but then he was gone. Justin had to get back to work. 

><

The Standalls had just sat down for dinner when they heard a knock on the door. Deputy Bill Standall was the first to start rising from the table when he heard it, though his wife squeezed his arm and beat him to it. “I’ll get it.” Carolyn offered. She knew her husband was stressed from work and she wanted to give him some time to rest. He’d only just returned after another long day, so she walked over to the door herself while her boys continued eating their meal. “Just a second!” She called out as she hurried down the hall, flicking open the lock on the door before opening it up. “Oh- Justin, it’s nice to see you.” She smiled at the boy standing before her. He was still wearing his Monet’s shirt but it was mostly covered by the navy hoodie he had over the top. Carolyn still noticed the uniform and raised her eyebrows interestedly. “You work at Monet’s now? That’s great.” She told him warmly, though she knew he certainly wasn’t here to have a conversation with her. “Alex is here, we were just eating dinner. Would you like to join us? I can make you a plate.” She was already ushering the boy inside before he responded because she didn’t think there was a reason for him to say no. 

Justin took a step inside and tightened his grip on his backpack. He was nervous for a reason. Stepping inside the Deputy’s home with Bryce Walker’s prescription oxycodone in his bag was bound to make any teenager nervous but he had to just trust the pills were stashed away in a safe enough place. Besides, the man was off duty and he wouldn’t be going through his bag. “Thanks Mrs Standall but I’m fine, really. I just came to see Alex.” He didn’t want to be a bother. 

“Nonsense. Come on in.” Carolyn led Justin through to the dining table and made him take a seat. 

Alex frowned deeply when he saw his mom walk in with Justin. His parents didn’t know any of the history between them but he was still surprised Justin was determined enough to be around him that he’d show up at his door unannounced. It looked like he’d come straight after his shift too. Honestly, Alex thought the jock was going to forget all about him after their underwhelming conversation at Monet’s. Clearly, he was full of surprises. Before he could even get a word in, his brother was bombarding Justin with questions about the football team at Liberty. Peter couldn’t help himself but right now that was better than Alex having to force some conversation. His mom went back into the kitchen to plate Justin up some of the leftovers and brought it through with a soda. 

The table was full of light conversation about football and then some slightly harder questions about the ‘false alarm’ at the Spring Fling but soon enough, Alex found the moment to excuse himself and Justin up to his room. 

Dropping his bag at the door, Justin walked over to make himself comfortable on Alex’s bed. He was exhausted after his day at work, so he laid back against the expensive mattress and buried his head in the pillows at the back. With his stomach now full of Carolyn’s home cooked meal, Justin felt the need to stretch his stomach out a bit. “Your mom’s cooking is amazing.” He complimented and rubbed his stomach to show his appreciation. Honestly, with the heating on high he felt like he could fall asleep right there if it wasn’t for Alex watching him over by the door. He didn’t look very impressed, so Justin sat himself up and leaned back against the headboard. “I heard you’ve been working out at Caleb’s. I might give it a try. Zach says it’s cool down there… could be fun.” 

“You really need to workout more?” Alex commented. He’d been hovering by the door while he watched Justin invite himself onto his bed, though hearing the lightness of the conversation made him feel more comfortable and actually walked over to take a seat too. He didn’t get  _ as _ comfortable as Justin but he took a seat. “It’s good down there. Tyler likes it too. You watching him tomorrow?” He asked. 

“Oh, yeah, he comes and sits at Monet’s while I’m working.” Justin confirmed. Just like he sat at the Crestmont when Jessica worked there. “You know, he might be alright now.” He said, shrugging. 

“I know.” Alex agreed. Clay was just extra careful. Too careful, maybe. He didn’t want to let Tyler go back to how things were in case he tried anything again but Alex was more confident than anyone that he was getting better and he wouldn’t do it again. While the others looked after Tyler because they saw it as something they  _ had _ to do, Alex did it because he actually wanted to hang out with him. He didn’t see it as a chore. He saw it as hanging out with a friend. Maybe if Tyler didn’t have all of his own shit going on then he could talk to him about what was bothering him. It was actually surprising to hear Justin talk about it like it wasn’t a big inconvenience. Justin wasn’t as bad as he painted him out to be in his head. He thought maybe he should return the favour in asking about him. “Are you doing okay? With Bryce and everything?” 

Justin definitely didn’t expect to be asked that. Thinking about it, no one had asked if he was okay after his former best friend was pronounced dead and then pronounced murdered just a day later. Even Clay thought Bryce’s death wasn’t anything to mourn over… but Justin needed to mourn him. He was his brother. “Uh- I don’t know. I know a lot of people hated him. Fuck, I hated him sometimes… but-” He frowned. Alex probably didn’t care. He wouldn’t understand. 

Surprisingly, Alex actually nodded. “But he helped you.” He helped Justin just like he’d helped Alex when Alex was going through a rough time. Now he was dead. All of the bad shit outweighed the good but did that mean he deserved to die? 

Alex didn’t know what possessed him to bring Bryce into the conversation but he felt pretty bad about it now. Clearing his throat, he prepared for a change in topic that he hoped Justin wouldn’t be opposed to. It didn’t sound like either of them wanted to sit here talking about their murdered classmate. “You’re living with Clay now. Is that weird?” He asked. He was curious. 

“Not really.” Justin shrugged, running his hand through his hair. “I mean… it was, yeah, but the Jensens are cool. We’ve got our own place separate from the house, it’s nice. Sharing with Clay isn’t as bad as you’d think.” He joked. “But he’s been really stressed about all of the Tyler stuff.” It felt oddly normal talking to Alex about all of this. He trusted Alex not to say anything and vice versa, so the pair could talk a bit more freely than with the others. It was a weird kind of trust because they weren’t overly friendly. They just had a mutual understanding. “I think we’re all good with that for now, don’t you?” He asked. He already knew Alex agreed, so he wasn’t surprised by the nod he got in response. The reason Justin was here was to try and see how well Alex was doing and right now he didn’t know how to achieve that. Maybe just getting comfortable with each other was enough. After so much animosity, the pair deserved to have a normal conversation for once. That’s all Justin could hope to achieve right now. 

For the rest of the evening, the pair sat alone in Alex’s bedroom and just talked. They talked about school, about football, and even a little bit about Alex’s music. Hours seemed to pass by before they knew it and they were actually laughing. Alex was laughing more than he’d managed to laugh in weeks and it was all thanks to the jock that was now clutching his chest in fits of laughter. “Come on! Do it.” Justin insisted and gently nudged Alex’s arm with his knuckles. If his insisting wasn’t doing the job, Justin decided to use other means. He tilted his head downwards and looked up at Alex with his best puppy dog eyes. “Please?” He pleaded. The pair had been talking about Alex’s music and how he hadn’t actually picked up his guitar in a long time, which wasn’t great news for Justin. He wanted to hear something and he’d been trying to convince Alex for the past two minutes. 

Alex rolled his eyes and shoved Justin gently. “No.” He said, inhaling deeply to recover himself from all of the laughing. If he was going to describe Justin as anything then it would be a pain in the ass, though funny was making its way onto the list somehow. 

A knock on the door disrupted them and both boys looked over to see Bill poking his head through the door. “Hey boys, it’s getting late. Justin, do you want a ride home?” He asked. It sounded like they’d been having some fun, which was refreshing. He wasn’t sure if Alex had much fun these days but one random visit from Justin Foley seemed to work wonders on him. It seemed unusual for the two of them to hangout but he wasn’t going to complain. He’d always thought Justin was a nice kid. Troubled but who wasn’t? 

“Thanks Mr Standall, that would be great.” Justin nodded. He supposed it was getting pretty late and somehow they’d lost track of time. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and noticed a text from Clay asking where he was. He glanced up at Alex momentarily before he made a rushed response.    
_ ‘On my way home. I worked late.’  _ _  
_ Maybe keeping Alex a secret made him sound guilty but he didn’t need Clay to start asking questions and he didn’t need this to get back to Jessica. It was better if no one knew that he’d sparked a friendship with Alex… or whatever this was. It was just nice and it was better without the input of everyone around him. 

“I’ll see you at school.” Justin told Alex on his way out of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

A few days following their first friendly encounter in a long time and Justin had already taken up a membership at Caleb’s gym, conveniently where Alex worked out. Though he originally thought it would be a good way to keep his eye on Alex, he did actually start to enjoy the atmosphere after his first couple of sessions. The Liberty Tigers were all regular members and Justin actually forgot how fun it could be to spend time with them outside of the lockerroom and away from the field. He didn’t partake in many of their group activities anymore, for obvious reasons, but working out at the gym was a lot more innocent than what the guys regularly got up to. Justin had also been using the gym as an escape from his job and his roommate because right now he didn’t like hanging around with Clay. He was obsessed with finding the murderer of Bryce Walker and Justin couldn’t help but feel that he was being looked at as a suspect just like everyone else. It hurt, especially when it was coming from someone he thought of like a brother, but Clay was paranoid. He probably didn’t even realise he was looking at Justin like he expected him to be guilty of something. But he was. 

Justin was guilty, just not of the murder of Bryce Walker.

As Wednesday evening rolled around, Justin was spending it at the gym. He’d already used some of the equipment before he noticed Alex settling down with the weights, so decided to make his way over. “Need a spotter?” He asked, leaning against the metal pole to give himself a bit of rest. A few beads of sweat were shining on his forehead and his chest was rising and falling at a faster rate. “I need a minute.” He added. Justin thought spotting Alex was a good break for his own workout too, though he wasn’t sure he wanted to stay at the gym much longer anyway. He’d been here for a little while and his muscles were still aching from football practice earlier. Coach made him do two miles, which he’d complained about as much as possible (before and after doing it).

While Alex would normally take it as an insult that Justin came over to make sure he didn’t hurt himself, he’d been having more casual conversations with Justin over the last few days. More than he could count, actually. Passing each other in the halls at school didn’t seem like a competition of who could ignore the other the most anymore. Instead, they shared small smiles and even allowed the odd conversation when they were walking out of classes at the same time. It was strange having a friend in Justin Foley but that’s what they seemed to be becoming - or at least acquaintances. “Sure.” He decided and loaded on the specific weight onto his bar. He tried not to look for a reaction from Justin but he did catch what he thought might be an impressed expression at the smaller boy’s strength. “What? Think I can’t handle it?” He questioned, though there was no bite in his tone. Just amusement.

“I didn’t say that.” Justin said, raising his hands in surrender. He drank some water from his bottle and glanced around to see if anyone from school was hanging around. Tyler was practicing in the ring but all of the jocks had already gone home. That meant Justin could relax a bit more. He crossed his arms over his chest before he felt his phone buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out of his hoodie to a text from Clay.    
_ ‘Ani is coming over tonight. Is that alright?’  _ _   
_ Pondering over a response, Justin ran his hand over his face and sighed.    
_ ‘I have plans too. I’ll be back late.’  _ _   
_ That wasn’t entirely true but Justin didn’t want to sit around pretending not to hear Clay and Ani talking about Bryce’s murder. That was the last thing he wanted to be reminded of every single day, which was hard when it was all Clay talked about in and out of school. Taking a chance, Justin put his phone in his pocket and looked at Alex. “I might have a drink after. You in?” He asked. If not, Justin would be drinking alone but he’d done worse before.

Alex raised his eyebrows as he positioned himself beneath the bar. As much as drinking with Justin Foley would’ve sounded like a nightmare anytime previously, he actually thought the alcohol was tempting enough on its own. “I have to drop Tyler home first.” He accepted the offer without properly accepting it, though Justin saw through the vague response. 

“Yeah. Sure.” Justin agreed, watching Alex take his grip against the bar and start to lift. Although he trusted Alex wasn’t choosing a weight too heavy for himself, it still surprised him when he saw the boy start to extend and retract his arms in a steady rhythm. Justin still remembered when he was earlier in his recovery from the TBI but he was clearly a lot better now. “We can drop the car off at yours and walk somewhere, or something.” Anywhere away from disapproving parents and wandering eyes. Maybe the docks if Alex was up for it. The invitation might seem to come from nowhere but Justin didn’t think so. There was actually no one else he would want to accompany him for a bit of underage drinking than Alex right now. He was one of the only people who was less interested in talking about Bryce than he was. If the boy had said no, he would’ve just gone down there alone and had more than just some strong liquor. The next step to this friendship they were forming seemed to be having a drink anyway. 

Both boys had their own agendas. Alex wanted to pick Justin’s brain about what Clay and Ani knew, while Justin wanted to keep an eye on Alex and how well he was doing. It worked out for the both of them, especially when paired with the fact they actually didn’t mind each other’s company all that much. They figured that out when Justin ambushed him at his home on Saturday and ended up staying way longer than he had to. Plus, it was better than being alone.

Soon enough, Alex’s arms began to grow tired and he slid out, running his hand through his hair. “I’ll need a shower before we leave.” He admitted. This place could facilitate that, so he wasn’t too worried. 

Justin pinched a part of the fabric of his t-shirt and tugged on it. “Me too.” He chuckled. 

“I’ll let Tyler know.” Alex offered before he walked to the ring to inform the boy, while Justin walked on past him and went to get a headstart on showering and making himself more presentable. 

Following a quick shower, Justin heard the door open and close, assuming it was Alex coming in to get himself ready too. He walked out into the main lockerroom area, a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair a dripping wet mess. “Showers are fucking sweet.” Justin told the other teen as he opened up his bag to get out his fresh change of clothes. 

“Uh-”    
Speechless was the word that Alex would use to describe himself, though even that word wasn’t coming to mind when he watched the jock walk out from one of the shower cubicles. Coming to the gym was bound to cause some jealousy over the other guys that spent time here but he hadn’t come into contact with a half-naked Justin Foley before.  _ Idiot _ , Alex thought. He was acting like an idiot. To save himself the embarrassment, he walked past the attractive jock and went to have a shower himself. He certainly wouldn’t be walking out in a towel like Justin decided to do. That was for sure. How did he have the confidence to do that? Well, Alex knew how  _ he _ had the confidence. If he looked like Justin then he’d like to think he’d have that level of confidence too. Unfortunately, he was Alex Standall. He wasn’t a jock, he wasn’t anything impressive. The only thing that confused him was whether he was looking at Justin through jealousy or something a bit more than that… attraction? Was that even something he felt for guys? Alex had felt this kind of confusion before but he’d never admit that it always seemed to be related to one particular thing: Justin Foley.

...

The lights inside of Monet’s were warm but Alex’s platinum blonde hair was a harsh contrast to that, making him stick out like a sore thumb. It made it all the more easy for Hannah Baker to spot him at their usual table towards the back. She ascended the stairs excitedly, throwing herself into the seat opposite him. She fell into the seat so quickly that the table rocked slightly and threatened to spill Alex’s drink, if it wasn’t for the fact he’d already drank most of it. “Alex!” She exclaimed, causing the boy to startle and look at her with wide eyes. “I think we  _ have _ to go to this party. Here me out, okay? I know you’re totally against all of that high school crap but I think it’ll be fun.” She insisted. “Jess is going.”

Being bombarded with so much took Alex a bit by surprise but he didn’t have the heart to tell Hannah to slow down. That wouldn’t work, anyway. He knew from experience. The mention of a ‘party’ made him scrunch his face up, though he thought there was a particular motive behind it. “Are you sure this isn’t anything to do with one of the football players?” He asked, raising his eyebrows knowingly. “You know? One of the ones with a ‘ _ dreamy smile’ _ and  _ ‘the bluest eyes’ _ .” Alex mocked her teasingly. 

A blush rose to the beautiful girl’s cheeks and she shook her head. She decided to ignore that comment. “Come on, Alex! You might actually have fun.” Hannah reasoned.

Of course, the dreamy blue-eyed jock was Justin Foley. Justin fucking Foley, member of the football team and basketball team captain. He was dreamy, in ways. The boy had a smile that could make girls weak at the knees and just an ounce of attention from him could make someone think that their highschool life had meaning. Admittedly, he made being popular seem more appealing to Alex, who had never been one to care for social hierarchy. At Liberty, he’d noticed that there was a clear hierarchy in the social standing of teenagers. That sort of thing usually didn’t bother him. At his previous schools, he’d been happy being the quiet, band kid with his 80s New Wave posters and vintage records dotted around his room. He had to admit that the atmosphere at Liberty was different. Somehow, it made him want to be popular. Being noticed by the jocks for something positive was addictive and he couldn’t stop himself from recognising the appeal of one jock in particular. 

Alex wasn’t sure what it meant. He didn’t completely understand it. All he knew was that it wasn’t just the girls at Liberty that found Justin Foley alluring. Not romantically,  _ obviously _ . Alex just… understood. He could empathise with his best friend, who he’d noticed watching the boy from afar. What he didn’t tell Hannah was that the reason he’d noticed her watching him was because sometimes he was guilty of the exact same crime. Liking Justin Foley and craving his acknowledgement. How pathetic could he be, honestly? 

“Fine.” Apparently, he could be a lot more pathetic. Going to a party to get the attention of anyone was pretty pathetic by his standards but Alex knew it was worse that it was Justin Foley. 

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” Hannah exclaimed and leaned across the table clumsily to give Alex a hug. “You will not regret this.” She grinned. 

Alex really hoped she was right.

...

Alex had never given much thought to his past or present thoughts about Justin Foley. He put all of it down to jealousy and a strange desire to fit in. Justin was one of the most likeable, popular jocks at Liberty and he made everyone want a bit of attention from him. Attractive or not, Alex thought it was more to do with his aura than anything. He hadn’t even explored the possibility that his feelings derived from something deeper than jealousy because it didn’t feel right. He was attracted to girls and that was what he’d been comfortable accepting and exploring since he was young. Despite that, deep down he knew there had to be something more to it. He just hadn’t been ready to explore those thoughts or feelings, especially because every time he had the chance, something threw a spanner in the works. At first, it had been Jessica that prevented him from exploring those feelings. She was his girlfriend, then she was Justin’s. After that, Justin did something unforgivable to his best friend and he refused to let himself think of him as anything but a terrible person. Come to think of it, Alex thought this was the first time he had befriended Justin without anything being an intervening factor. Well… only if murdering Justin’s former best friend wasn’t an ‘ _ intervening factor’ _ . 

What was he thinking? 

Shaking all thoughts away on the drive from the gym to Tyler’s, Alex did his best to ignore the presence of the damp-haired, blue-eyed jock beside him. He wasn’t ready to have this conversation with himself yet, so he decided to believe it was just jealousy. Jealousy that Jess chose him and jealousy that he would never look or be like him. 

“See you later Tyler. Tony is giving you a ride to school tomorrow, isn’t he?” Alex asked. He’d already checked the schedule ahead of time, even if he was pretty sure he had it memorised at this point. 

“Yeah.” Tyler confirmed. “Thanks, see you tomorrow. Bye Justin.” He got out of the car and went over to the door. Knowing Alex would wait until he’d gone inside to drive off, he turned back for one final wave before disappearing into his house and shutting the door behind him. 

Only when Alex was sure Tyler was inside, he pulled away from the curb to drive back to his own house, where they could leave the car. 

“I was thinking we can go to the docks. It isn’t far, there’s a store on the way. They don’t ask for ID.” Justin suggested. The plan was agreed upon and Alex soon pulled up outside of his parents’ house. Alex also decided that they didn’t need to stay for dinner before they left because he was eager to get a bit of hard liquor down his throat to lessen the burden he’d been carrying on his shoulders for a while. The buzz would hit them quicker if they didn’t eat and that was all Alex cared about. The stay at his house was as short as expected. The boys dropped off the car keys and told Mr. and Mrs. Standall that they were going somewhere to hangout with their friends. A small lie but if they considered each other as ‘friends’ then it wasn’t too far from the truth. Following that, the pair made their way to the little convenience store down the road, which sold to just about anyone that went in there with the cash to pay for it. 

“I’ll get it.” Alex offered. He knew Justin had a job now but he didn’t mind, so he went into the store while Justin waited outside for him. He bypassed the weaker options and went straight for something with a percentage in double figures, getting two regular sized bottles of vodka and making sure to ask for two paper bags when he paid at the counter.

><

It was a cold night to be spending down at the docks but both boys were warmed up by the alcohol that was reaching their unlined stomachs. Neither boy had eaten since lunch, so it didn’t take long for them to be pleasantly buzzed and even less time to go from pleasantly buzzed to completely wasted. When Alex was drunk, he tended to get a little reckless these days. Amongst the shipping containers and boxes they had situated themselves between, Alex found a way to begin climbing up from one box to another. Meanwhile, Justin was laying down on one of the lower ones, his head propped up by his backpack. The half empty bottle of vodka was concealed by a brown paper bag as Justin attempted to take another gulp from it from a laying down position, a droplet slipping from the corner of his mouth. His inability to even drink from the thing made him laugh and that laugh soon turned into a cough.

“What the hell are you doing up there?” Justin asked after he laughed off his coughing fit, having to sit up to let his body recover from attempting to drink laying down. He hadn’t noticed Alex’s little expedition up the boxes until now but he looked like he was having fun on his little trip. Perhaps if he was a smidge more sober, he would’ve seen the problem with Alex climbing up there with his one bad leg and no railings to stop him from falling off. Maybe the thought did cross his mind but the stupid smile on Alex’s face made him forget all about it. “Hey, wait for me!” Justin insisted. He got up to his feet somewhat unsteadily and took that drink from the bottle he’d wanted before he dribbled some of it down his chin and almost coughed to death. 

Making his way to the tallest point he could without really putting himself at risk Alex threw his arms outwards. “I’m king of the world!” He announced, quoting one of Leonardo DiCaprio’s earlier works. He raised his voice high enough to hear it echo amongst the other shipping container stacks and laughed quietly. He turned his head to watch Justin start to scramble his way up to the top. He looked like he was struggling a little bit but that was probably because he was in a rush. 

After a bit of stumbling and swaying, Justin reached a hand upwards for a help up onto the final platform. “Give us a hand?” He requested. “Please?” He pouted just to tease the boy, though the pout seemed to work because Alex leaned over to give Justin a bit of help getting up onto the highest point they could climb. Alex couldn’t resist that pout or those puppy dog eyes, no matter how hard he tried.

There wasn’t much to see around here but it was still something the boys could enjoy. Even sober, they might’ve had some joy in messing around here back in the day. Only now, things were so dark that it didn’t feel like ‘joy’ was possible without a bit of alcohol or an illegal substance to make it that way. Justin steadied himself on the large crate and looked around at the view. It was pretty cool up here now that he was seeing it for himself. He just knew that the moment they stepped down from this height, they would feel just as small as they did every single day. All of that shit they were dealing with would still be there, no matter how far away then ran or how high they climbed. “Almost feels like things are normal when you’re up here.” Justin admitted. He turned around to take a look the other way and sighed quietly. The jock enjoyed the silence and serenity of the moment for a while. He just enjoyed the view of the dim lighting and how small everything below them looked. He took a step or two backwards while he brought the bottle to his lips again but just as he was about to take a sip, he felt the heel of his shoe reach the edge of the crate. His eyes widened as he started to lose his balance, his arms flailing slightly until the bottle slipped from his grip and crashed to the ground. 

Alex saw Justin out of the corner of his eye as he moved backwards. He thought the boy was being an idiot for stepping back without looking where he was going but he didn’t think he was going to fall until things got out of hand.

_ Alex.  _ _   
_ _ Alex... _ _   
_ _ Alex, shit. _

He could hear the voice of Bryce Walker shouting to him. He could hear the voice of that horrible human being screaming out as he gripped onto his weight and started forcing him towards the edge. Towards the water. The pressure of the weight Bryce’s larger body put onto his own was paralysing and he almost froze, but then that voice screamed in his head once again.

_ Alex! _ _   
_ _ Help! I’m drowning... _

Before Justin fell to what would possibly be a nasty injury below or even something much worse, Alex felt his own hands moving to grip onto the boy’s jacket and yank him away from the edge. It was probably his harsh pull that caused the bottle to slip out of the boy’s hand and crash to the floor. He heard the glass shatter against the concrete. That could have been Justin. 

The boy that almost fell down to the ground recovered quite quickly from the near-miss. He doubled over to catch his breath and a string of laughs erupted from him. “Fuck.” Justin whispered between breathy chuckles, his hand coming to rest firmly on his heart. He could feel the harsh beating of his heart in his chest from what he just experienced but the rush was exhilarating and he couldn’t stop himself from laughing it off. He might’ve lost his bottle of vodka in the process but how cool was that? Alex just dragged him away from falling off the edge. Speaking of Alex, when Justin finally stood up straight and looked at the boy he could see that he wasn’t laughing. In fact, Alex looked more spooked than he’d seen him since the day Bryce Walker’s body was found. “Chill, it’s fine.” He said and patted Alex on the arm. “Thanks.” He added and ran his hand through his hair. 

“It’s not- it’s not fucking funny.” Alex insisted, his voice raised, and took a drink from his bottle of vodka to try and calm his nerves. It didn’t work. He shook his head a couple of times and moved to the side where their route down was located. After that, he really didn’t want to be up here anymore. He wasn’t even in the mood for drinking. 

Alex’s reaction kind of ruined Justin’s high and he was forced back down to reality. He didn’t realise that Alex was on his way down again until he’d already descended to half the height Justin was standing on. “Come on, don’t be like that. It’s fine.” He called out and frowned deeply. He wasn’t sure what about that spooked Alex so much but he assumed seeing Justin almost fall to his death, or at least fall to a few broken bones, was probably what did it. He could understand that. He jumped down from one platform to the other before he reached Alex at the bottom. Even more disappointingly, Alex was reaching for his jacket and pulling it on. It didn’t look like they were staying here anymore then. It was getting late, anyway. They’d spent a few hours just talking about nothing and drinking to their heart’s content. Justin could do with some food to soak up the alcohol and some sleep before he had to drag himself out of bed for school tomorrow. Nevertheless, he didn’t like seeing Alex like this. Even in the dim lighting, he noticed how pale Alex had become and how deep the worry was etched onto his features. 

Reaching forwards to grab a hold of Alex’s shoulder, Justin forced the boy to look at him. They were closer than he anticipated when Alex turned his face to look at him. He could see the glisten of Alex’s alcohol-glazed eyes and the lines of his frown on his forehead. The smell of the vodka on their breath mingled between them. Justin almost forgot that he was supposed to be the one saying something here, though after a couple of seconds of letting his eyes dart over Alex’s features he settled on those sapphire orbs. “Sorry, alright?” He told him genuinely. 

Alex felt the pressure under Justin’s gaze, especially with that innocent, apologetic expression he was giving him. He shook his head to try and shake off the incident, a small smile pulling at his lips in an attempt at removing some of Justin’s concern. “It’s fine.” He shrugged off Justin’s hand and reached to grab his jacket for him, holding it out until the jock took it. “I just wanna head home.” 

“Yeah.” Justin agreed. His eyes lingered on Alex’s face, even after their eye contact was broken. He was still concerned, even with the smallest of smiles being sent his way to try and reassure him. “Sure.” He slipped his arms through his jacket sleeves and started following Alex towards civilisation. All serenity had been lost in one dumb moment. Hopefully Alex would still be open to there being a next time… Justin really didn’t want this to be the last time they hung out, especially considering it was practically the first. He actually had fun, aside from the ‘almost falling’ thing.

Alex just knew that Justin could never understand why his almost falling freaked him out. He couldn’t know about that voice Alex kept hearing in his head or those screams that haunted him at night. If he did, they really wouldn’t hangout again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for the comments and support! It makes me more motivated to keep writing, I appreciate it! I'm a sucker for a slow-burn so I'm sorry if it feels like it's moving slowly but there's plenty to come!


	4. Chapter 4

While Justin laid in bed that Wednesday night, his stomach full of leftovers from the dinner that the Jensens had eaten a few hours before, he couldn’t stop thinking about what happened at the docks. More specifically, he couldn’t stop thinking about Alex’s face when he almost fell off of that ledge. He’d been under the impression that Alex was into being reckless when he initiated climbing up those large crates to begin with but something about the near-death experience really spooked him. He supposed it was natural. The teens at Liberty had suffered from way more loss than the average highschool student. There was Jeff, Hannah, now Bryce. Alex Standall himself had almost been a name on that list of fallen Liberty students and Justin supposed he just wasn’t keen on the idea of someone else taking his place. 

Next time, Justin would definitely be more careful. 

><

The following day, Justin turned up to school to see police cars in the parking lot and a few officers hanging around in the halls. His eyes lingered on a pair of cops that were talking near the principal’s office in hushed voices. He tried to catch what they were saying on his way past but he got nothing. Considering Alex’s dad was a cop, his mind was quick to jump to the boy and his eyes were quick to search for him. Maybe he’d know if there was anything to worry about. Justin didn’t want any more surprises. Not after Bryce. He noticed Alex standing by his locker and made his way over. “Hey, what are the cops doing here?” He asked. “Is your dad here too?” 

Alex looked up, surprised to see Justin at his side but his concern made sense. There were more police officers here than just the odd interview about Bryce, so something different was definitely happening. “I don’t know… maybe they found something last night.” If they did, Alex wasn’t aware of it. If he didn’t go out with Justin drinking then he might’ve spent some time with his dad and rode alongside him in his police car. He’d sacrificed some father-son bonding time to be with Justin instead, which was starting to look like an oversight. He should’ve been keeping a closer eye on the investigation.

Justin was freaking out but he had to remind himself that he didn’t have anything to hide. Bryce’s prescription, which he’d been taking to get by, was tucked away in the bottom of a can of shaving foam. It didn’t seem like that’s what they were looking for anyway, though he still didn’t want them to stumble upon it. “Maybe.” He agreed. “Let me know if you hear anything, I better go.” He gave a nervous smile and started to walk off to the locker room to meet with the guys before practice. 

Watching Justin walk away, Alex walked through the halls with a slightly nervous bounce in his step. When he saw his dad talking to the principal, he waited for them to finish before he made his presence known. “Hey, what’s going on?” He asked. “Has something happened?” 

“No, don’t worry. We found Bryce’s car last night and we’re just doing a search of a few lockers. Nothing for you to worry about.” Bill informed his son, which was already too much information already. He squeezed the boy’s shoulder and nodded. He didn’t think it would be long until his son heard from his peers that they’d searched all of the lockers of the sports team members. They were doing a larger search than that but that was definitely where they intended to start. Bill knew his son didn’t have anything to hide, or at least he didn’t think so. He thought his son was one of the good ones and though he feared he kept secrets, steroids was definitely the last thing on his mind. After a thorough search of Bryce’s vehicle, they found a bag full of steroids that made it look like Bryce was selling them. If he was dealing, he might have contacts at his old school. They were looking for a suspect. “I need to go, just get yourself ready for class.” He smiled. Once Alex gave him a nod in response, he walked past him to catch up with another officer that was going to help him in the locker room. There were other colleagues of his here too but they were waiting for the larger search. Believing the football team were their best guess, they still hadn’t forgotten that any student could be a buyer from Bryce. They were planning to check them all. “Alright everyone!” Bill announced to get the attention of the chatting teens in the locker room. The boys were all dressed ready for their morning practice but he didn’t want to wait to get on with this. “We’re doing a search of all of your lockers.”

A few groans echoed throughout the locker room but the teens stepped away from their lockers without much resistance. Most stood back begrudgingly and watched their things being routed through by the police officers. Some looked more antsy than others, Justin included. Justin crossed his arms over his chest while Bill Standall finished turning over the last part of his locker, then went closer to grab at the boy’s bag. “It was nice seeing you around the house on Saturday, Justin. It’s been a while.” The man conversed while he pushed aside a few things to take a look. It was mostly school supplies, so he didn’t have much to worry about. He didn’t want to expect it of Justin, though he tried to do his search thoroughly. People were full of surprises these days.

Justin actually thought having a conversation with the man might make him less thorough, so he jumped at the chance. “Yeah, it was nice. Thanks again for dinner. Tell Mrs. Standall her cooking was amazing, as always.” He smiled brightly, eyes glancing down nervously at the shaving foam that was gently pushed out of the way. It looked like he was in the clear but he didn’t want to get his hopes up. 

“You were out with Alex last night, weren’t you?” 

“Yeah. We were hanging out.” 

After a bit of light conversation and a bit more searching, Bill gave Justin a pat on the shoulder. He was done here as far as he was concerned. “I hope I’ll see you soon.” He told him. Alex seemed to have fun with the boy, so he wouldn’t mind having him around more often. Bill went back to one of his coworkers who looked to have found something. Justin did crane his neck to see what it was. Steroids. 

Steroids, found in none other than Montgomery de la Cruz’s locker.

><

The searches of the locker room were complete but something wasn’t sitting right with Alex. The police officers required for a search of a few lockers was definitely far exceeded, which made him think they were going to do a much bigger search. If that was the case, he needed to get to his locker fast. He walked down the halls and finally reached his locker, opening it up and taking out a red bag containing his contraband. Alex could always buy more, so his only real worry right now was getting rid of it before his dad caught him. He hid the small bag under his jacket on the way to the nearest trash can. He looked guilty with the way his eyes shifted from one person to the next but he thought he managed to dispose of the small case without bringing much attention to himself. Not many people at Liberty paid attention to him anyway.

Unfortunately, Alex didn’t fool Justin. An addict could spot another addict, especially one that looked shifty enough to ditch their stash in a trash can when the police were around. 

Justin didn’t want to believe that Alex had anything to hide. Alex Standall couldn’t be on drugs, could he? He almost refused to believe that someone like him could be mixed up in this world. It just didn’t seem right, though Justin was curious enough to take a look for himself. He walked by the trash where Alex had dropped a suspicious looking case and he reached in for it, putting it into his own bag. Considering his bag had already been searched by the Deputy, he thought he was safe to hold onto this for now. He’d open it when he had enough cover from the eyes of the cops. As the morning drew on, Justin found Clay and Ani sitting in the cafeteria. He made his way over and took a seat beside the girl. He looked shifty enough to gain their attention and he soon pulled out the little red bag that he was obviously trying to keep hidden under the table.

“What is that?” Ani asked, leaning over curiously. 

“I don’t know. I saw Alex drop it in the trash earlier. With the cops doing searches, I just thought… I don’t know.” Justin wished he’d kept it to himself and checked it out in the bathroom but he thought Clay might be able to give him a neutral opinion on it, or even a voice of reason. Quite honestly, Justin was going pretty crazy all morning over not knowing what was in the bag. He could finally answer that burning question. Unzipping the bag, he slowly opened it to peak inside.

“Wait!” Ani insisted and grabbed onto it, squeezing it shut. There were too many eyes around here. She slid the pouch into a folder and then opened it to take a look. She was too curious to give it back to Justin first. She liked solving mysteries and this could be one more piece in the Bryce Walker murder puzzle that she needed to finally solve it. As she opened it up, her eyes widened. Steroids. She glanced towards Justin and pushed it towards him for him to see it all for himself. Once the boy had taken a look for himself, she slid it in Clay’s direction. “You said Alex had these?” She asked, looking pointedly at Clay. They hadn’t even mentioned Alex as a suspect so far. Maybe they should add him to the list. “He was buying off of Bryce, right? He must have been.” 

Justin frowned at Ani, shaking his head. “That doesn’t make any sense.” He insisted, keeping his voice quiet enough not to draw attention but he couldn’t help being somewhat frustrated at the mere mention of it. “Alex, he- no.” He shook his head. “He hated Bryce more than anyone. If he got these from anyone, then… then he got them at Caleb’s. He probably hid them because of his dad.” Justin justified Alex being secretive and shady over concerns about getting caught by his parents. “I’m going to talk to him. Don’t do anything.” He grabbed the red bag back and shoved it deep into his gym bag. He was in denial. Justin didn’t even want to believe that these were Alex’s, let alone that he was getting them from Bryce before Bryce died. He needed to be told by the boy himself before he jumped to conclusions, though he could already see Clay and Ani making assumptions of their own. Justin didn’t want Alex being messed up with any of this. He knew what substances like that could do to someone. He’d been on a lot worse himself. Plus, Alex didn’t need this on top of everything else.

><

By lunch, the searches were over. The police found one more person of interest from their searches and took a couple of the guys down to the station to formally question about the drugs they’d found in their lockers, which matched the ones that Bryce had an abundance of in his car that they found the previous night. Clay and Ani’s list of suspects must be getting longer with the few jocks that were taken for questioning, though Justin wasn’t concerned with any of that. He wanted to find Alex. 

Seeing the flash of a long sleeved sweatshirt and a growing, brown hair made Justin quicken his step through the halls. Having to push past a few people didn’t bother him and soon enough he caught up to the boy, albeit with the consequence of a few annoyed looks. He gently grabbed the boy’s arm to catch his attention. “Alex.” He spoke. “Can we talk for a minute?” 

“Talk? What about?” Alex asked, sighing quietly. He was supposed to be meeting Tyler for lunch but he supposed it wouldn’t matter too much if he was late. It wasn’t often that someone like Justin Foley wanted to have a ‘talk’.

The pair found their way to an empty classroom and Justin shut the door behind them. Ensuring they were both out of view of the frosted glass window, he sat up on one of the desks. “I saw you.” He explained, reaching into his bag to find the little red pouch. “What are you doing with these, Alex?” He asked. “The exact type of shit Bryce was selling to Monty?” He frowned, throwing the red bag down against the desk in front of him. As the object thudded against the desk, it was clear he was guilty. The look on his face, the slight defensive nature of his body language. Justin knew he shouldn’t have been snooping around in Alex’s things but he threw it into the trash, so he thought it was pretty fair of him when he’d already been concerned about the boy. Maybe the reason he’d been encouraged to watch over him in the first place was because he saw these signs. 

Alex’s nostrils flared in anger, immediately grabbing for the bag to conceal them. “What the fuck, Justin?” He pushed it deep into his backpack, shaking his head. “Were you following me? Why the fuck do you even have this?” 

“I was… worried, I don’t know. Why are you using?” Justin asked. “You don’t need any of that shit, Alex. It’s not good for you.” No wonder the boy was becoming a bit of a firecracker recently. A short fuse and quick to anger - it was pretty much identical to Monty, though obviously without the ‘asshole’ part. They were completely different people, yet they’d been at the verge of a fistfight in the cafeteria the other day. Justin just didn’t think that derived from using the same enhancement drug. 

Alex scoffed. “Why?” He asked sarcastically. “Why do you think?” He looked down at himself subconsciously, though getting into the route of his substance use wasn’t what he wanted to do with this conversation. “It’s none of your fucking business.” He grabbed his backpack to make his way to the door. He didn’t need this, least of all from Justin Foley. It took everything in him not to mention Justin’s dubious past with illegal substances. But he didn’t. Quite frankly, he just didn’t know why the jock cared so much. 

“Maybe not but I-” Justin didn’t know how to explain his reasons for caring but he just knew he did. He knew how sick he felt when he saw those cylindrical pots inside that case. He felt nauseous now just thinking about what Alex was doing to himself. “You know how bad that shit can be for you? You’ve gotta stop.” He insisted, taking a step out further to try and catch Alex before he reached the door. He didn’t like the fact that the boy still had it on him. Quite honestly, he wanted to just grab onto his bag and take it just to make sure he wasn’t going to end up putting it into his body again. But he didn’t. Alex was already halfway towards the door, far out of Justin’s reach.

“Like I said, it’s none of your business.” 

Right before Justin’s very eyes, the other brunette disappeared out of the room and joined the sea of students on their way to lunch. He lost him. 

Despite being an addict on the other end of a conversation like that a few times before, Justin realised he probably went about it the wrong way. He let his emotions get the better of him and he raised his voice a lot more than he intended to. He showed judgement, which he knew wasn’t going to help the situation. He ambushed Alex in the worst way possible and he probably just cut every single tie he’d been starting to form. Fucking brilliant.

><

The entirety of Alex’s afternoon was spent fretting. Now that Justin knew about his problem, it could spread around their group like wildfire. It only took a bit of gossip to spread far enough that it reached someone he really didn’t want it to. Someone that might tell his dad or hold it over his head. The last thing he needed right now was something else hanging over his head. He needed to know that Justin wasn’t going to say anything to anyone, apart from who probably already knew. Alex assumed Clay was the first person to find out after Justin did. But Clay was easy to handle.

As the final bell rang to signal the end of the day, Alex sought out Justin before he went to his shift at Monet’s. He knew Tyler was hanging out there, so he assumed that meant Justin was working. It didn’t take long to see the jock standing around waiting for someone. That person definitely wasn’t Alex but the brunette approached with his tail between his legs. He knew he left their last conversation abruptly but the fear of the news spreading made him come back, looking a lot less defensive a lot more worried. 

“Hey, Justin.” His voice was a lot more timid than it had been earlier. He’d calmed down and he’d come to realise that Justin held a lot more power with this information than he thought. “Look, you won’t tell anyone. Will you?”

At first, Justin seemed confused. Of course he hadn’t forgotten their conversation, it was all he was thinking about, he just didn’t expect to have the other boy retreating so soon. Alex didn’t look like he hated him as much as he should, though that was a good thing. “No. ‘Course not.” He promised. It might have taken him a moment to say it but he meant every word. He wasn’t going to tell anyone about any of it, apart from those that already knew. He decided not to tell Alex that Ani and Clay were aware. He’d just shoot them a text telling them not to mention anything. If they did, he’d be in trouble. “I won’t tell anyone, Alex.” Justin reiterated to make his point further, those puppy dog eyes of his showing how genuine he was. “But just… just tell me why you take them. Please?” Those eyes came to use once again, his face so innocent and curious that it looked to be deliberate. However, it was completely natural.

He really did look harmless, which Alex took on board. He didn’t necessarily want to tell Justin why he was using steroids but if it would make sure he didn’t say anything, then of course he was going to. “I just… it helps you get bigger quicker, doesn’t it?” Alex shrugged, looked down at his arms, which were a lot less muscular than those Justin proudly displayed. “I’m not going to the gym because I enjoy it.” He joked, trying to take some of the heat off. 

Despite how deep-routed the problem might be, Justin decided to keep things at surface level for now. He just smiled, shaking his head. “You don’t need that, you’re fucking joking. Right?” He asked. 

It sparked Alex’s interest. “What do you mean?” He didn’t expect to be laughed at. He thought his reason was a valid one - a genuine one.

Justin rolled his eyes. Alex really didn’t see it, did he? Although he’d lost some of his confidence in the last few months, Justin still knew how to tell someone that they were attractive. He’d always been a bit of a flirt. He flashed that infamous ‘Justin Foley’ smile, giving Alex’s arm a gentle nudge with his knuckles. “You’re hot, Standall. You don’t need any of that shit to prove it. Just look in the mirror.” He chuckled. 

Definitely not what Alex was expecting but a small, bashful smile appeared on his face. He had to divert his eyes down to try and hide the way his cheeks heated up. The steady heartbeat in his chest seemed to spike just a little. Maybe there was a small part of him that still wanted to be accepted by Justin Foley, or maybe just being noticed by him was enough. While the boy floundered over a response, they were joined by Tyler. Again, the taller teen looked apologetic for keeping someone waiting but he felt like he’d walked in one something that he shouldn’t have, so he kept quiet. Seeing as Tyler had now arrived, Alex thought that was a good way out of this conversation. Saying a quick goodbye, he shot Justin one last look and continued on his way home. 

Did Justin Foley really just tell him that he was hot?    
It wasn’t the first time he’d implied it, though every time it was in a jokey manner. Alex didn’t want to take it too seriously… so why was he smiling the entire way home?


End file.
